


"You're not allowed to do that."

by imkerfuffled



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:58:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7980769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imkerfuffled/pseuds/imkerfuffled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan fears for his eyeballs, Nita doesn't care, and Filif is Filif.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You're not allowed to do that."

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of writing more of [A New Oath](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5606683/chapters/12918079) yesterday (here, have some shameless self-promotion), I decided to combat my writer's block by taking prompts on tumblr. So here's the result!

Ronan likes to consider himself a fairly tolerant person under typical circumstances.

Actually, that’s a fecking lie.

Ronan likes to consider himself at least a fairly _reasonable_ person in his intolerance, meaning he tries really, really hard to only be an arse to people who deserve it.

Well, moderately hard.

In any case, Filif does not, has not, and will not ever deserve it, and Ronan knows this. He also is entirely convinced that the Powers that Be never had a single color quite so… vibrant… in mind when designing the limits of the human eyeball, let alone an entire rainbow of that same, frankly alarming intensity.

He shouldn’t be so surprised by the display, as Nita will oh so helpfully remind him later. After all, he does possess all the facts necessary to have prepared him for this exact eventuality:

  1. Various members of several alien species like to hang out at the Callahan residence in their spare time.
  2. A favorite activity for when these aliens drop by is to dress them up in human suits and show them all the touristy things their little hearts/vascular systems can dream of.
  3. Multiple of said aliens have a fondness for bright colors, and none more so than Filifermanhathrhumneits'elhessaiffnth.



So, really, the probability of all three of these facts converging on the same day he just happens to visit isn’t so far out of the realm of plausibility.

The baseball cap—this time in a shade of yellow that could make highlighters blush—Ronan's used to. He doesn’t mind the baseball cap. But it’s the baseball cap combined with the bright green shirt, combined with the bright pink shorts, combined with the bright orange shoes, combined with… well, that’s about as far as Ronan gets before his eyes start watering.

The point being, Filif looks like a Nike store that got invaded by the entirety of a gay pride parade, and while Ronan is all for even unintentional gay pride, it turns out that there is such a thing as too much of it on one person.

Actually, the point being that Ronan likes to consider himself a fairly tolerant person, and “typical circumstances” in his particular case is a fecking joke.

No, the _real_ point being that cheerfully assaulting Ronan’s eyeballs does not warrant arseholery, no matter how concerned he may be for the continued wellbeing of his retinas.

“Nita…” he whispers. He has to squint slightly just to look at the tree who, for all intents and purposes, certainly looks like a human being, though with no fashion sense that any human being would ever possess. “Should I tell him to lay off the dayglow just a tad? For the sake of humanity’s ocular health, if nothing else.”

“You are absolutely, under no circumstances, allowed to do that,” Nita says in that voice that makes it perfectly clear why ignoring a woman with the last name of Callahan is a bad idea for anyone who values their general health, let alone ocular. 


End file.
